Razor Blades

*written in high school for a close friend who suffered with self-harm and has since recovered - if you struggle with self-harm, text CONNECT to 741741 - talk to someone who understands and can help.

—

One day you wanted to see what you were made of

So you peeled back your flesh like plastic wrap.

You never did seem to get an answer,

But despite your best efforts you haven’t stopped trying.

I know that some days for you feel like a prison.

If I was a goddess I would turn the mirror of truth upon you

And let you see the beauty that hides beneath your outer layer,

But I have no powers.

And when you look at your reflection you see terror

Pressed into every fold of your skin -  

You are so beautiful.

When I say I love you I mean that I care more deeply for you in a moment

Than I will for most people in my lifetime -

If you were to die,

I would plunge my hand into your chest and force your heart to beat,

I would capture your pain and make it my own,

If I could,

Instead we are both destroyed.

When I see the byproducts of your experiment across your body

My curiosity is as revolting as it is honest.

My mind stopped reacting appropriately ages ago,

It hasn’t gotten the memo that I should protect you better.

But in my questions lies the undeniable truth.

One day you will find out that you are radiant.

Until then bury my love beneath your skin

So that when you perform your careful inquiries

You always have something to find.