Magda

She had a new regular, it seemed.

It was the eighth time she’d seen the same man in the restaurant-that-wasn’t-supposed-to-be-a-bar that she worked in, sitting at the corner of her bar in the last 2 hours of her shift. She liked her hours, end of the dinner rush, but before the evening crowd came in and swarmed the bar.  

“I’ll have an Old Star, neat.” This man she didn’t know, but she knew his type. Nice suit, older, distinguished, but ordering something cheap which meant he had nobody to impress. Then again, he was clearly here before the rest of his party, so maybe he did have something to hide.  

“Are you waiting for your group?” She asked, smiling. He nodded curtly. Clearly not one for conversation. She turned back to the bar to look for his order, lifting the near-empty bottle. No doubt a product of the evening crowd, there wasn’t even enough in the bottle for a half glass.  

“I’m sorry sir, we’re all out. Can I get you something else?” She asked, pouring him a water. He frowned, peering past her to the bar as if to catch her in a lie. Or, possibly, to select something else.  

“Give me a moment.” He pulled a phone out of his pocket and stepped away towards the door. Sighing, she set her bar cloth down and walked over to the new regular. He was peering oddly at her, as usual. But it wasn’t lecherous peering, and he hadn’t said anything yet to make her uncomfortable. He mostly looked like he thought he knew her from somewhere.  

“What can I get you today? A whiskey sour?” Most regulars loved it when she remembered their orders. He didn’t react, except to nod.  

“Coming right up!” She turned to walk away, and felt a hand on her arm. A hand he immediately retracted when she turned to look at him. She hated being touched. She held her tongue and simply stared at him, expectantly.  

“Magda?” She frowned. Her bar didn’t require nametags, and she never told customers her real name. Or anyone, for that matter. She’d been May for years.  

“Do I know you?” She asked, trying to keep calm. This guy looked close to her age. He was lighter-skinned than her with eyes that looked like they didn’t know if they were brown or gray, nothing about him looked familiar. But she could know him, it was possible she’d forgotten a past acquaintance.  

“It is you.” He said, and then reached forward for her again. She took a step back, avoiding his touch, and he again pulled his hand back.  

“I’m sorry, I just can’t believe it’s you and you’re…” he glanced around. 

“A bartender?” That, she had gotten before. When she’d dropped out of her Masters program and decided she was done with academia everyone around her thought it was strange. It made sense that if she knew this guy from somewhere he would wonder what had happened to the once great Magda. Nobody understood why she liked bartending on weekends.  

“In this realm.” He said, glancing at her strangely, like she was the one being weird.  

“Uh, okay? Let’s get you that whiskey sour.” Magda turned again, walking away briskly. She could feel his eyes on her still – heavy now.  

“What’s up!” Magda jumped, nearly tipping the bottle back on herself, and turned to her coworker in fright.  

“Geez you scared me, Sam!” 

“Sorry, May. Is it that guy? He only comes when you’re on shift, I think someone has a crush.” 

“He’s weird.” She cut him off. Sam ran a hand though his hair, ruffling up the blue tips.  

“Yeah, okay.” 

“He said he didn’t expect to see me in this realm. I think I knew him…like before I moved to the city.” 

“Oh, this secret past life you don’t talk about.”  

“It’s not a secret. I was adopted when I was six. I don’t remember anything before that. And I moved to the city when I broke my parents’ heart and decided not to become the next great professor of etymology.”  

“Why that?” 

“I like languages but not enough to learn to speak, like, a billion of them. So my solution to that is to specialize in a few and study them, know their history. Or…was.” 

“Okay. Cool.” Magda suddenly realized that strange or not, she’d left her customer alone on her side of the bar. 

“Ugh, let’s get this over with.” She sighed, under her breath. She finished the whiskey sour and went down to the stranger.  

“Here you go.” She tried to summon a smile, but she could feel how stiff her face was.  

“I have offended you. It’s just, everyone wondered what happened to you. Me, Aeyre, Wother, we never, we always thought they would bring you back. But they never did.” Magda blinked at him. Was it possible that somewhere out there was another black girl named Magda? Because she had never met this guy before, she was sure of it.  

When she didn’t say anything, he sighed.  

“You’re right, that’s not true. I’m not just here by accident Magda. I know you have a life here in this realm, but I have to convince you to come home.” 

“What are you talking about?” It finally slipped out. Magda had decided, had told herself, that she was going to politely listen to what he said. As long as he didn’t touch her again she’d ignore him, then ask Sam to trade her and let her work the dinner bar. Now, she was wondering if she didn’t need to buzz the bar owner.  

“I’m…Magda are you alright?” 

“Look, maybe you have the wrong girl. I don’t know you, and I for sure don’t know any of the names you just said.” 

“Magda of course you know me why aren’t you looking with your astral eye?” 

“What?” Her hackles were rising. Something within her twisted when he said that. She unconsciously took a step forward.  

Then, without preamble, he reached out and grabbed her arm in a surprisingly strong grip. Before she could shout, before she could even grasp what was happening he’d pressed a thumb to her forehead.  

“Someone has blocked you.” He said, his voice turning cold for the first time in their interactions. She frowned, coming to her senses, and was just starting to step back when he pushed down on something deep within her.  

It was an explosion in her mind. Like stretching a muscle you didn’t know you had, something in her body released. She blinked twice and the world before her changed. Most of the people, most of the objects looked the same. But he was shimmering, his shape kept shifting. He was the guy she saw before her but his form was soft, rippling. So was hers. Nobody else. 

She did pull back then, yanking herself out of his grip. 

“Did you just drug me?” But she knew he hadn’t. She remembered this, in some deep part of her body. It was coming from her, this second sight. She blinked again, determined, and it went away. But the muscle protested, eager to be used after being dormant for so long. She blinked it back, staring at him.  

“No I…Magda what happened to you?” 

“I don’t know.” What she meant to say was nothing. She meant to say she didn’t know him, and politely ask him to get out of her bar. But she was shaking, glancing around at the dull colors of the room that couldn’t compare to him, and to her.  

“I’m…I have to go.” She backed away from him, towards the middle of the bar. She asked an older man if he needed another scotch, though what she wanted to ask him was if he could see what was wrong with her. The whole time that man sat in his section of the bar, staring at her.  

She did every possible thing she could do to stall, wasting over an hour, hoping he would leave. He did not. The time didn’t even seem to bother him.  

“Do you truly not remember us?” “Would you like a refill?” If she avoided his strange questions she could pretend this wasn’t happening.  

“Let me see if someone tampered with your memories. Memory loss so young is so rare.”  

“Well if you would tell me where I supposedly know you from, maybe I would remember.” Her strategy hadn’t lasted very long.  

“From the royal nursery.” He said, as if it should have been obvious. “Where else, Magda, you were so young when your parents were killed. So young when they took you away. I just don’t get why they chose this realm.”  

Up until this point Magda had been frustrated, a bit creeped out. But as he reached towards her forehead again she felt a chill go down her spine.  

“Get away from me.” She stepped back, out of his reach.  

“Magda, I’m just trying to give you your memories back.”  

“Get away!” She was being too loud, people were looking at them. Sam came over from the other end of the bar.  

“Is there a problem here?”  

“No.” The man’s voice was suddenly cold, which did nothing to take the edge out of the moment. Sam put a protective arm around Magda’s shoulder.  

“I think we’re done here. If you don’t want to be escorted out, I suggest you leave, right now.” 

“Magda!” He reached out for her again, and Sam practically yanked her away from his grip.  

Magda turned, tucking her face into Sam’s shoulder. The angrier the man got, the more he shimmered. She didn’t want to see him anymore.  

“Look buddy, I don’t know who you think you are but –” 

“My name is Leif, and I know you Magda, and I know you know me. I wish you would let me help you remember.”  

She heard shuffling, but Magda didn’t dare open her eyes until Sam jostled her a bit.  

“He’s gone May.” He cautiously looked up and looked around, but he was nowhere in sight. The shimmering was gone with him, if she didn’t look directly at herself. She could almost pretend that everything was normal again.  

“Why was he calling you that?”  

“Huh?” She had almost forgotten Sam was still there. 

“He called you…what was that…Mayda?”  

“I don’t want to think about…whatever that was. I just, let’s get back to work.”  

“Okay, sure.” Magda slid out of Sam’s grasp, and moved to clean the bar where the strange man sat.  

For the rest of her shift, she tried to put him out of her mind. And at ten, just when people started coming in to start their evening, she passed over her bar apron, collected her tips, and made her way to the door. She looked both ways out the door before stepping out. She made it five steps before an arm came around her waist.  

“I’m sorry Magda, please forgive me.” Then his hand came over her eyes.  

Magda started to struggle, she was not going to be pulled away without a fight. But then, a warmth radiated out from his hand to her head. She elbowed him in the stomach, hard, making him release her. But the damage was done.  

At first Magda felt dizzy, sinking into the building. But then it was like a block was cleared. She remembered. Everything.  

The emotions were overwhelming. Grief. Sadness. Happiness. Friendship. Loss. Safety. Everything came back at all once. She was gasping, and her eyes were watering. It was overwhelming. She didn’t know how she had forgotten for so long. How she could stand the not knowing, and living in this realm as though she belonged.  

She looked up, locking eyes with him, and the last piece clicked into place. She remembered him.  

“Lief.” She felt wet, hot tears falling down her face. He slid an arm around her then, holding her up. Gently, she grabbed his face between her hands, looking into his eyes.  

“You found me.” She whispered. “I feel like I’m home.”  

“Always, Milady.”