What Happened to War of the Wings?
In late summer of 2022 I began a journey that has changed me fundamentally as an author, businesswoman, and person. I began my JD/MBA program at the University of Chicago. Truly - my life has completely changed since.
Little did I know when I began this journey, that I would be changing not only my career path, but embarking on a massive journey of self-exploration. This year I have had to grapple with my mental focus - which I think is to be expected - but also confront so many limiting beliefs and challenges that have been holding me back. This is work I had been doing for a while, but while I thought law school was the culmination, imagine my shock at finding out that this year has really only been a genesis.
In the midst of a grueling school schedule, keeping my business afloat, getting my name and face out there in the legal world, and battling inner limiting and frankly destructive beliefs and behaviors…I lost my creative spark. The work I had been doing on War of the Wings Book Two slowed to a near stop. The fantasy series I’d been working on (details coming soon!) started to feel too overwhelming. The Super! speculative fiction quadrilogy (is that a thing? quartet?) that I’d been working on… I don’t think I’ve even opened it in months. And while I fully appreciate that we cannot be all things in all seasons, I realized that sometimes, things are best left where they are.
What does that mean?
First, it does not mean that I am quitting as an author. This summer I have made tremendous progress in the worldbuilding of my (semi-secret) fantasy series. I have had new ideas coming to me for the first time since last fall. I’ve had a renewed passion for older ideas (including a dark, twisty cult dystopia trilogy) and have put in time on all of these. I have always been and will always be an author, with more plans to publish in the next several years.
It also does not mean that I don’t appreciate the tremendous work that has already gone into book two. My cover designer, Maja, designed a cover that gives me bittersweet joy every time I see it. I still go through the beta reader feedback given by those who read the beta draft. I have even opened the manuscript several times to see the editor comments.
What it does mean, though, is that I realized the reason I was struggling with developing Fae Fractured so much is because Ava and her friends no longer felt like they were going where my 22-year-old self imagined them. I came up with the full iteration of this trilogy at a very specific time in my personal life and in the national zeitgeist (early fall 2016, if that helps) and a lot of the energy of her story was a response to how it felt to be 22 at that time and not know what you wanted or believed, when it felt like everyone around you did. I couldn’t name it at the time, but I was trying to capture that feeling of being on the precipice of hope and fear, and of wanting to remain uninvolved and ignorant a bit longer. Nearly seven years later, not only am I not in that place, nor the world in that place, but I have also realized that the first book, standing alone, accomplishes that. Maybe not in everyone’s view, but for me - the first book captures that feeling. It doesn’t need two more books to build it out. And since it is complete in that story and emotional arc for Ava, the second book felt stagnant because Ava wasn’t going anywhere - I was trying to force her to repeat that same journey.
Sure, plot-wise there was a lot going on. There were some cool elements that gave you a bigger view of the upper echelons of the fairy world, and you got to see some things happen including a big fairy fight. Ava’s abilities grew and expanded. But characters’ feelings and emotions are at the heart of everything I write. As a character, I couldn’t make Ava’s personal journey feel like a continuation and not a re-hashing, and that’s because it wasn’t a continuation. It was the same feelings, the same growth, the same realizations, repackaged in a new setting. There’s a lot of great content and, in my opinion, great writing, but there’s no heart. So I made the incredibly difficult decision that I don’t want to put that out there, nor do I want to force myself and Ava towards a new arc that wasn’t intended and therefore won’t gel with the rest of the series. I’d rather leave her where she is with a complete story and a sense of tenuous peace.
So what now?
On the Fae Found front, I’m in the process of rebranding everything (except the subtitle which apparently can never be changed or removed - oops!) to remove mention of War of the Wings and make it clear this book is a standalone. So if you have an already released copy - congrats! It’s vintage! For that reason, I will likely also be releasing it to the Kindle Select program to go on Kindle Unlimited and hopefully find new readers.
Otherwise - I’m excited to get working on some of my other creative projects, and take away several lessons:
It’s helpful to think of your series as one long, continuing story - rather than several stories linked together. This makes it easier to make sure you’re charting a growth path for each main character that can span several novels, see where superfluous characters need to get cut, and make sure everything fits together cohesively.
Don’t over-promise! I had so much hope that I was going to get Fae Fractured out in late 2022 that I almost just did it to say I did! I’m so glad I didn’t do that! Not only because it would not have been my best work (maybe not even good, to be honest) but also because I learned that you cannot say when a manuscript will come out until you have a final manuscript (and as a publisher I’ll say even then - life throws curveballs at you). Part of the delay with Fae Fractured was due to outside life changes that I’m glad I respected myself enough to truly embrace and react to - and that gave me the space to make this decision.
You’re allowed to change your mind. (And change it back again, and go back and forth several times, and cry about it, and talk to your Dad about it, and ask your friend a million times if you’re crazy.)
Stay tuned for some content soon about what’s on the radar for me. I can’t guarantee when it will come out, but I am very excited for what’s coming next!
